Tag Archives: cancer

Happy 50th, so far


A few days ago I had my fiftieth birthday, a half century down, another half to go. Had a great time celebrating with Terry and as many of our family and friends as we could get with. Had chow at The Lob, cake and margaritas at Mom’s. Drank enough to be pleasantly buzzed but not enough to drunk. I haves drank that much in years. Shame that, it feels good!

The cancer is still there and still quiescent, in a couple of weeks I get another CT scan and see the doc. But so far everything is cool on that front and will be, I guess, as long as I can get those expensive shots. I worry about that sometimes…

Still driving a truck, still being aggravated by shippers, receivers and dispatchers but that is SOP for a trucker. At this moment, I’m waiting for a unloading dock three hours past my appointment time and the rest of my weekend work schedule is totally fucked. The dispatch dudes are scrambling for ways to make it all work out, but I expect little result. “Hours Of Service” is a bitch.

The Battle Continues

Just got back from the oncologist where the results of my scan were told to me, no new news here, and I got my first shot of Octreotide, something that will help with the symptoms and retard the growth of the carcinoid tumors. No new growth or outbreaks other than the ones we already knew about and I looks like the meds will do the trick for now. Back in 4 weeks or so for another shot (I gotta remember, LEFT cheek next time), and some more blood work to make sure the liver is functioning properly, just like it is now.

I’ve got mixed feeling about all this. Yeah, it’s a cancer, or sorta… Carcinoid is the operative word here. But it’s rare enough that no one knows a lot about it. According to the Doc, many people live long lives with this stuff, even undiagnosed. But if it wanted to, this carcinoid stuff can be a real bitch. I’m not in any hurry to die, and with a treatment that works, I can live another 20 – 30 years. Considering I’m already pushing 50, I can deal. If I keep on top of it, and I can afford the meds, I should be fine.

People are trying to get me to put in for SSI disability. It seems to me that, since I don’t consider myself disabled, this would be a waste of time for everyone involved. The Doc seems to think this won’t affect me working, and the carcinoid ain’t so aggressive that it will give me any problems I won’t see a long way off.

Sure I’d like to have a job where I’m spending more time at home, but NOW is not the time to be trying for that. I can drive a truck, I can do it well, so that’s what I’ll be doing come 2012. I need to get back to work, I’ve been outta work since November 12th and “Momma needs new shoes!”

Thanks again to all the family and friends who have helped us out and thank you, he folks who have been reading this little blog. I intend to keep up with this thing more often for 2012 (Hmm, my first resolution?) so stand by…

Here’s The Deal…

I’ve been diagnosed with a neuroendocrine carcinoid tumor of the small intestine that has metastasized to the liver. Still being figured out but the multiple tumors in the liver are not operable because of the number and size. There are therapies to keep it from progressing, but so far it just looks like this is something I’m going to have to “live” with. More testing will be done and I’ll know better what’s going on.

I’ve been out of work and without income since November 12th and I’m not sure how Terry and I are going to make it right now. After having the tumor removed from the small intestine, I’m still on light duty till Jan 2nd. Light duty, of course, means nothing to me in this context being I’m a truck driver for a company in Illinois. There;s not a lot of work around here right now.

I’m not sure how I feel about all this now. I don’t know whether I’ve got 20 years to live or a number shorter than that. I can’t see the future. What hurts the most is the way its affecting my family, frankly. I don’t know what to do.I just want to live as long as I can and be something other than a lump…

Anyways, more later.