Category Archives: Happy Fun Stuff

Unsolicited Advice #1

“Better yet!  Build a 10 foot high tank trap monstrosity in the shape of your corporate logo!  Pay some starving bearded hipster artist to make it from barbed wire and pointed re-bar!  And then let it rust!  Give them the idea that they might contract aerosolized tetanus just by cutting too close!  That will surely keep them surly drivers from cutting unsightly ruts in the corner of your property! Except for those Swift drivers, but you shouldn’t allow them in here anyways.  People store food here, for criminy’s sake!”

– Unsolicited advice given to the gate guard at a cold storage warehouse I frequent a lot.  Seems that tired and stupid truck drivers are always tearing up the corner as they leave their lot.  I saw a poor sod trying to scrape the dirt from the road and reposition the granite boulder that some moron had run over with their trailer tires.  Unfortunately, my advice will probably not be heeded.

Too bad. It’s so rarely that I have a really good idea.

M’aiq the K’itteh: A K’at in Skyrim

maiq in fur

“M’aiq thinks this new place is so cold, not at all like Elsewyr, where M’aiq grew up with eight brothers and sisters. All named M’aiq. M’Aiq was very confused till he came to Skyrim. But M’aiq does not like this… fur armor. When M’aiq is bathing, how does he know where to stop?”

maiq sorry dude

“M’aiq says ‘Sorry, d’ood! Your stuff was better! Sucks to be you!’ This mine is cold and damp… my fur is sodden.”

maiq at embershard

“M’aiq is a ferocious tiger! Nah, just kidding…”

maiq ing a buq

“Even M’aiq has to make a b’uq now and again…”

maiq bed

“M’aiq never had a bed before! Is most fun to jump upon it! But M’aiq must be more careful. The bony things on the ceiling almost knocked M’aiq the f’uq out!”

Burm Em If Ya Gottem, Duke!

It’s been a while since I watched a good John Wayne movie. Terry and I just finished watching “The Wings of Eagles” and I’ve got this to say…

It’s been a while since I watched a good John Wayne movie. It was a bit boring and plodding in my opinion, but I guess they had to pack a lot of years of this guys life in 110 minutes.

I guess the movie was alright but what really caught Terry and I’d attention was all the smoking on screen. In bed, in hospitals, everywhere, everyone was smoking. Probably the only ones not smoking on screen were the two children playing “Spig’s” kids. But for all I know they were lighting up Luckies as soon as John Ford yelled cut. It certainly was a different age.

And then Terry noticed the deft way the actors were plucking cigarettes seemingly out of the air. Someone was doing their scene and next thing you know they got a butt going.

It looked me like the actors were just firing them up whenever the spirit took them as they sleepwalked through their performances. I know at least 1/3 of the screen time someone was sucking the old cancer stick.

I’m a smoker myself, I’m not trying to preach. It just struck us funny, that’s all…