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Oak Grove, KY

100_5163 After enjoying last weekend at home, wrangling a couple of grandkids who spent the weekend I’m back on the road.  I’ve got some tanker truck and a container that I picked up at a Air National Guard base in Wisconsin and I’m headed for Georgia to deliver tomorrow.  From there I’ll head to a nearby company OC that’s just been close and pick up some stuff to go to another company OC in Illinois.  Nice to have your next load waiting before you finish the load you’re on, it’s so rare that it happens that way lately.

I’ve been asked if I want one of the new RGN trailers to run with instead of the ratty stepdeck flatbed I’m pulling now, I said "Am I gonna make more money with this trailer?" My manager said "Sure!"  Hmm, we’ll see about the money, but I said I’d take one. Anything would be better that the rattle-trap trailer I’m pulling now.  Actually my current trailer isn’t THAT bad, i guess familiarity really does breed contempt.

RGN stands for Removable Goose Neck, and that means when I pick up a piece of heavy equipment, I can drop the front of the trailer onto the dirt and drive whatever I’m gonna haul right onto the trailer.  It will also keep me out of the bullshit load business like bricks, tar paper rolls and the one time I hauled 68 fifty-five gallon drums of raw honey from CA to PA.  I still had bees under my tarps when I got to PA! 

Well, time to get back on the road, I just paused a bit to download some of my audiobooks and get them loaded up on my MP3 player.  Check out Audible.com if you’re looking for great audiobooks at a decent price. Been a member since 2000 and they’ve kept me well entertained on those long stretches of road.

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2008 07 24 Road Angst Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin on Death

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2008 06 29 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

Down Time / Laptop

Down for a 34 hr break in Birmingham, Alabama. I got lucky and my dispatch came up with a load out of Covington, Kentucky that I could pick up today.   Monday, I’ll head to Mobile to deliver the load.

Being a flatbed driver I deal with lots of places that are only open from 8am to 4pm, for example and are closed on weekends.  My current load came to me over the satellite yesterday, right before the folks in the office headed home for the weekend.  Gave me a bit if a scare, thought I was going to have to spend the weekend in Dayton, Ohio.  Ugh…

In other news my laptop is fixing to crap out on me.  I think either the power jack is coming loose inside (its supposed to be a common problem with this brand of Toshiba laptop) or the adapter wires are screwed up (the insulation looks kinda funny in spots).  My laptop has seen lots of abuse and vibration from rattling around in my truck for a couple of years, sitting on the passenger seat and running my GPS and map program while I’m driving.  I’m on my second hard drive, 1/3 of the screws that hold the case together are missing and the plastic casing looks like it was cleaned with dust and sandpaper.

Otherwise it still works great

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2008 06 29 Road Angst Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin on Mad TV

"Touched by an Atheist" skit.

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2008 06 28 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin - Indian Sergeant (1968)

From the Smothers Brothers Comedey Hour.

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2008 06 27 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin Defrags the Ten Commandments

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2008 06 26 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin on God (1975)

From the old Mike Douglas Show

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2008 06 25 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin on Global Warming

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2008 06 24 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

Flowers and Snakes

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A hibiscus I’ve got growing in a pot in the backyard.  Beautiful and huge flowers that open in the morning, close in the evening and sometimes do it again the next day.  Then the close up forever.

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Out at the Nature Center, there was an exhibition of snakes and reptiles.  I can’t remember what kind this one was but it looked quite comfortable.

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2008 06 23 Images Comments (0) Permalink

George Carlin 1937-2008

(In memoriam to someone I dug all my life, I remember listening to his records before I my age was even in double digits.  He made me a big part of what I am today.  I don’t have the words, so I’ll just steal some of his.  Joe Bless You, George!)

george-carlin When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!
 
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
 
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
 
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
 
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
 
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn’t give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
 
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can’t see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I’m big on that. If I can see something, I don’t know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us.
 
Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I’m unworthy. Doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn’t said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don’t pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn’t presume on our friendship. It’s not polite.
 
I’ve often thought people treat God rather rudely, don’t you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It’s not nice. And it’s no way to treat a friend.
 
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you’d really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you’d have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
 
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn’t it seem a little arrogant? It’s a Divine Plan. What’s the use of being God if every run-down schmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?
 
And here’s something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren’t answered. What do you say? "Well, it’s God’s will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it’s God’s will, and He’s going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn’t you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It’s all very confusing.
 
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don’t pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he’s a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn’t fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
 
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
 
So I’ve been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don’t. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit’s foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles, it’s all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
 
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that’s a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. Then there’s Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn’t care for, by the way. And finally, I’ve always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That’s because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
 
In fact, I’m gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody’s okay? All right, tell you what, I’ll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I’ve got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I’m blind. I’m blind, oh, now I’m okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci.
Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
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2008 06 23 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

More Lolcat Goodness

buzz... i haz it, dude

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2008 06 21 Happy Fun Stuff
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Live Writer Testing

Testing out Windows Live Writer, and offline blog editor that works with many types of blog platforms…  Testing Testing

Babycakes after a bath, very unhappy...

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2008 06 21 Blog News Comments (0) Permalink

Testing

Testing blog via email from my cell phone. Be real nice if it works.

Dave

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This mobile text message is brought to you by AT&T

UPDATE: Works just fine, except for the glaring AT&T commercial at the bottom of each one! Why do I have to advertise for a service I’m paying money for? What the f*ck!!!

2008 06 21 Uncategorized Comments (0) Permalink

Ditch Fish

We have a ditch behind the house, usually it’s just got a little dribble of muddy water in the bottom of it. After lots of rain, there was some nice clean water water flowing through and some almost transparent little fishes swimming through it. The only way I even noticed the fish was the darting little shadows on the bottom.

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2008 05 21 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink

Terry Outside

Taken outside behind our house, beautiful light!

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2008 05 20 Happy Fun Stuff Comments (0) Permalink